


Thaaat's what she said.

by orphan_account



Series: Fullmetal Femslash February 2014 [4]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/F, Femslash, Femslash Challenge 2014, Femslash February, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:59:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Central HQ, Investigations Department, First Lieutenant Maria Ross.”<br/>“Marrrrrrr<em>iiiii</em>a.”<br/>“Lieutenant Catalina?”<br/>“Wuh-wuh-wait. What are you wearing?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thaaat's what she said.

**Author's Note:**

> Killing three birds with one stone. Written for Femslash February. Prompt 5O on my bingo card, "Blind Date". Written for the LP February Writing Challenge prompt, "Dialogue Only" (and, again, sorry to the people pissed about me missing the January Challenge, but guys, guys, that prompt was lame as hell, sorry). Written for the prompt "becky/maria morning after call?" by that one insatiable anon. Technically, this isn't a "blind date", so to speak, but they can't see one another, and it regards a date, so I'm counting it. I may well go back and return to this prompt (I have a Hawkeye/Armstrong idea just begging to happen). Aw yiss.

“Central HQ, Investigations Department, First Lieutenant Maria Ross.”

“Marrrrrrr _iiiii_ a.”

“Lieutenant Catalina?”

“Wuh-wuh-wait. What are you wearing?”

“Catalina, are you drunk? You do realise that this is a military line?”

“I’m not drunk. If I were drunk, could I walk a straight line? Ooops, hehe, I just remembered—bi _secks_ ual, baby! Guess I don’t walk a straight line, eh? Ehhh?”

“My _God_ Catalina. Please, this is a _military_ line. I can’t take a personal call.”

“Mari-beari, calm your boobaliciously bouncing mammary glands, would’ja? I know for a damn fact it’s your lunch break. Your _lunch_ break. Buh-reak.”

“I know how to say that word. And you know how to put phone the phone. Just let it rest nice and easy on the receiver, Catalina, and I’ll pick you up.”

“Phone the phone? Y’know who else is drunk? Y’know _whooo_ else is drunk off her rocker?”

“I _meant_ put down the phone. Please, do me a favour. What if the switchboard operators listen in?”

“Hooo lemme take a breath. _I slept with Maria Ross last night and it was fucking awesome._ . . . Oi? You still on? Did you die? Oi, Maria of mine, did your blush burn straight through your cheeks? Guess there’s one less Virgin Maria in the world now, ehhh?”

“Catalina.”

“Oof, no need to start slicin’ and dicin’ me up like that. Pretty sure your voice’s sharp enough to cut straight through steel. Heheh, maybe we should start callin’ _you_ Lust, Miss Ultimate Spear. Last night, anyway.”

“ _Catalina_. Are you inebriated or not?”

“. . . okay, okay, sorry. Maria. Er, Ross.”

“Are you all right? I can come pick you up if you’d like. Listen, Catalina, I just want to make sure you’re okay. Please don’t tell me you’re drunk out of your mind calling me from some public phone booth. Do I need to call an ambulance? Where are you?”

“Huh. You actually sound kind of concerned.”

“Of course I’m concerned! Do you think that _last night_ would’ve happened if I hadn’t given the slightest hint of a shit about you?! Now answer the damn questions.”

“All right, all right, all right, Miss Investigation Department. Sorry. I went out to celebrate. You know where the Christmas bar is? Madame Christmas? Riza introduced me, and the Madame’s probably the coolest girl I’ve ever met. You’ve got to come around here sometime.”

“How much have you had to drink? Are you currently at the bar?”

“Maria? I love you.”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“This isn’t the—Catalina, you can’t just— _Becca_ —”

“I love you.”

“. . . I love you too. Now, where the hell are—”

“Wasn’t drunk, dummy. Gotta step up them investigation skills of yours, eh? I’m in the office over. I’ll be right over. Slip into somethin’ sexy for me, would’ja?”

“Wait, what—”

 _Click_.


End file.
